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The ShareAuto Phenomenon



"The shortest distance between any 2 points is a straight line" : Anonymous

This article is about a device that will teach you that there is more to that statement than what meets the eye.

A normal city dwelling human being has to commute daily to somewhere, else his day is not complete. Actually it starts with commute and ends with commute. This small write up is about how a major portion of the above said variety does that in Madras. They use a contraption called a shareauto. Now, you can share an auto.....wait a minute. let me take a small detour here to explain to the uninitiated what a shareauto is. This is a 3 wheeled vehicle which is certified to transport among other things, city dwelling humans. Rajanikant is allowed by law to transport pregnant women in it by virtue of his superstar status. The capacity of this vehicle is 3 passengers and a driver. Elsewhere in the world that would be true.


Coming back to the discussion, Like I was saying, you can share space in an auto with 2 other people and split the fare. The intelligent reader would agree that this is boring. However the concept of sharing is taken to the next level in the shareauto. Here the laws of physics that govern space and capacity fight a battle that goes nowhere but downhill. Think of 10 -12 people travelling in this 3 wheeled contraption and you now realize what I am talking about. This is not the bajaj manufactured garden variety rear engined auto-dick(pun intended)shaw. These are the asura cousins by his fathers 3rd wife with big tits and a bum to match. They run on diesel and have the torque of a locomotive (its all in the genes you see). They can put any sand buggy to shame if they had the right kinda wheels. So 10-12 people are peanuts on flat characterless city roads. Oh yes, they make a racket, and are driven by people who have not heard of the term 'road manners'. But you hardly get to see the driver. He s usually flanked by 2 people on both sides clinging on to dear life.



Accidents are common. you read in papers that an over crowded auto cartwheeled and all passengers have moved on to the next life. Nothing is said about the plight of the auto. There is a reason behind this. All they would have done was straightened up the auto to stand back on its 3 wheels and pushed it to the side. You see, the damn thing is made of iron and like the asura , nothing happens to it. its indestructible. I am yet to see a crushed shareauto in Chennai. You see crushed bajaj autos all the time but this thing just gets a new windshield, a fresh coat of paint and is back in business.

I once had to "share" an auto with 8 people. The driver politely asked me get in the back as i tried to squeeze right next to him. His fleshly kicked in animal instincts told him that this was not a good idea considering my weight and size. So here i was couped up in the rear with 7 people like i was about to get a spinal tap. I got more than that. In fact I was reduced to sitting on the toes of a member of the fairer sex who wriggled her toes under my arse. Surely it was the weight of my ass on her toes. The guy charged me about 10 rupees and i was delivered (literally) out of the auto at perembur.

A most humbling, exhilarating and humiliating experience rolled into one. So next time you visit Madras, mark your agenda's for a Shareauto ride to hell, and back.

Bon Voyage !!!

Disclaimer : All pictures are sourced from the public domain. Please let me know if you have issues and I will take them off.

Comments

Soni Somarajan said…
Howlarious, mate! Add couple more people in the back and you might be a candidate for auto-fellatio.
10:25 PM
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